Chieftain Columns
“Columnists . . . are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat — no matter who killed the meat for him.” ~Ernest Hemingway
From August 1996 to January 1998 I penned a biweekly column entitled "On the Trail" for the Wallowa County Chieftain (some columns were occasionally picked up by other publications).
I was abruptly (at least in my opinion) fired. The editor said it was due to financial constraints, but I was immediately replaced.
It was perhaps the cumulative effect of the columns (some subscriptions were lost and I'm sure the editor took lots of shit). If so, the final straw was likely column #40 ("Gender-bender chemical may make men less manly") which was submitted but never run. The column explored penis size, sperm counts, hermaphrodites and the feminization of males, and masculinization of females, due to chemicals in the environment (hey, I warned the readers up-front).
Sort By Column Number
- Column #1
- Column #2
- Column #3
- Column #4
- Column #5
- Column #6
- Column #8
- Column #9
- Column #10
- Column #11
- Column #12
- Column #13
- Column #14
- Column #15
- Column #16
- Column #17
- Column #18
- Column #19
- Column #20
- Column #21
- Column #22
- Column #23
- Column #24
- Column #25
- Column #26
- Column #27
- Column #28
- Column #29
- Column #30
- Column #31
- Column #32
- Column #33
- Column #34
- Column #35
- Column #36
- Column #39
- Column #40
#21 Reinvesting in Oregon's Natural Infrastructure
These industrial timberlands have been heavily logged off several times. Where huge trees once stood are now stunted monoculture plantations that are ecologically closer to a cornfield than a forest.
#22 It's Time to Replace the Bureau of Land Management
For most of its history, BLM has been the mere custodian of the federal public lands left over from the great giveaways to homesteaders, railroads, loggers, miners and the like. Since 1976, BLM has been charged with being the steward of the lands no one wanted, but it hasn't done a good job.
#23 Nature Most Powerful Economic Engine
"If you don't cut it, dig it, pick it or pump it, it's not real wealth," an old logger once growled at me. His thesis was that all wealth comes from the Earth.
#24 Sage Grouse: the Spotted Owl of the Desert
The sage grouse (Centrocercus urophasianus) is a species that can't tolerate destruction of its sagebrush habitat any more than the spotted owl can tolerate the destruction of its old growth forest habitat.
#25 Oft-quoted "Speech" of Chief Seattle a Myth
The threats to the planet, and to the humans and other species that inhabit it, are serious enough that environmentalists should speak in their own voice. We don't need to quote a mythical film version of events to make our points.
#26 How 'Green' is your Electricity?
There is no truly "green" electricity presently available to the average consumer. There is electricity that can be characterized as less "brown" than others.
#27 Global Warming: Invest Now or Pay Later
The President seeks to convince Americans of the need to act now. Climate change, while occurring rapidly in Earth time, is occurring very slowly in human time.
#28 The Human Foot Print
We Earthlings are engaged in the greatest evolutionary test of all time. With our large brains and opposable thumbs, people have conquered the world.
#29 A Tradition Isn't Always Worth Keeping
The old guard blames outside agitation for this tumult, yet several with comparable residential pedigrees favor the change. This division is over tolerance, not length of residency.
#30 Increase Supply to Alleviate Wilderness Shortage#30
The Forest Service is considering limiting use in crowded Wilderness Areas in the Pacific Northwest. Limitations on party size, pack animals, camping sites, camp fires and such have long been in effect to protect naturalness by minimizing human impact on delicate environments.
#31 Burden of Proof Should Be on Polluters, Not Children
Based on studies by the US Environmental Protection Agency and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Physicians for Social Responsibility and Environmental Working Group have estimated that air pollution may be responsible for 13% of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome cases.
#32 It's Time to Question Growth
The fact is that while growth increases the tax base, it also increases the obligations of government even more. The data is clear: the larger the city, the higher the per capita taxes.
#33 Save the Primates and Free Willy
Primates are not only smarter than your average mammal, but share much in common with humans. 98% of the chimpanzee's DNA is the same as a human's DNA. That's our closest evolutionary relative and the chimp is among the most threatened of all primates.
#34 Moving Loop Road Would Save Salmon
The controversy over rebuilding the flood-damaged portion of the Wallowa Mountain Loop Road is an example of people defending irrational positions.
#36 Naming Wilderness After Hatfield is Wrong
Politicians love to name things after departing fellow politicians. They secretly desire the precedent for when they themselves ride off into the sunset, or are shot (electorally speaking) out of the saddle.
#37 Skiing Through the Public Trough
The owners of the Wallowa Lake Tramway want to expand into winter skiing on Mount Howard in the Wallowa-Whitman National Forest. To do so, the must reach deeper into taxpayer pockets.
#38 Amphibians on Earth like Canary in Coal Mine
Amphibians depend upon plenty of water with an adequate pH balance. Global warming is causing more droughts and acid rain, not surprisingly, acidifies surface water.
#39 Consensus Groups Can Deplete Democracy
Elected and appointed officials love advisory committees or consensus groups, because it allows them to duck responsibility, conveniently positioning themselves "in the middle" between opposing interests.
#40 Gender-Bender Chemicals May Make Men Less Manly
Along the Columbia River near Portland, scientists have found a direct link between the size of river otter penises and the amount of unnatural chemicals in their livers: the more chemicals the smaller the genitalia.